I love this topic! Because it’s true, there are some people who get right under your skin and the mere mention of their name has you tensing up. There is usually a pattern of negative behaviour with this person and it always is an exhausting history.
Are YOU ready to take steps to change this dynamic and reach a better you? Let’s make 2015 a win/win year for you and the people who push your buttons. Sound impossible? Its not. Let’s start with you. Here’s your ah ha moment, and the big shift that will make your world smoother: the change comes from within you. You can’t change another person but you CAN modify how you ‘perceive’ them and react to them to make your life more effective.
Here’s how it works, for the moment you are Sam, Managing Director of a large insurance company. Your CFO Dorothy, who has the habit of blaming others for her errors, claims the bid ‘you’ made to buy a smaller insurance company is full of costly errors. Each point she addresses is financial issues she failed to mention during previous negotiations. Why didn’t she address these issues earlier? You ask if the contract can be revised? She says no, not the way “you” worded it. Now, she wrote the contract and you signed it. As CFO it’s clearly her job to protect the company’s financials. Her inability to address important issues until too late really upsets you as well as the fact that as leader, you’ve let the company become vulnerable. So how do you move forward, resolve the issues at hand quickly and smoothly?
Now is the perfect time to look at you, Sam. Yes, a huge fight with Dorothy is a reactionary response, but there are other options. Could this be a moment where you choose to lead with wisdom and integrity and not react? What action brings the best version of yourself and serves the highest good for the company?
My argument is that Dorothy, and all Dorothy-types, are catalysts to bring the best version of ourselves forward. It’s a challenge, but the prompt to dig deep and lead with wisdom and integrity is a great life lesson.
Now, your perception changes and so does the situation. You control the outcome and lead the team to a positive solution. Perhaps even Dorothy gets neutralized. No guarantees about the Dorothy shift, but now you realize that you have option to lead with wisdom and integrity and this higher level behaviour can become a pattern for you instead of reacting..
